I know we have not been very communicative since I started school. I am being pressed on every side it seems. This is a good thing. I am not sure what season with the Lord you are in, but I believe I am in winter. The life has gone to the roots to prepare them for more growth in my life. Every once in a while, I see glimpses of what God is doing. Just like when the snow covers the ground, it is hard to know what is happening deep in the earth. Whatever happens we see it when spring comes. The earth seems to know just when to release the seeds that need to be birthed forth for our enjoyment. I am not discouraged nor am I encouraged. I am experiencing Him in a new way. A way I have not been before. The struggles are real, but here is what I know: 1. God is good 2. God is good no matter the circumstance. I hope this encourages you. The bed and breakfast is just about ready for YOU: those who need a place to get away. Let us know when you would like to make reservations. Blessings to you.
I had the privilege to speak with a mom who had a teenager. The teenager is having to deal with a lot of issues. I kept hearing from the mom about what the teenager was doing to her, her husband (the dad) and the rest of the family. It seemed that it was the same thing each day. To say that she was frustrated, didn’t even come close. She was looking for a place to put this child to get help. As much as I could sympathize with her about her daughter’s issues, I felt the greater need to hear her as a mom. A dear friend of mine once said that birthing babies was easy, it is the birthing of adults that is difficult.
I have four children. I remember how different and at the time difficult it was helping them to become adults. I must confess, I am not sure I did it all correctly. In fact, I think that as a parent at that time, I stunk! (This does not define who I am, I just had some learning to do!) They are each unique. They each have their own personalities, ideas and gifts. Trying to place a “cookie cutter” formula just didn’t work. I read books, studied other great examples, prayed, bound and loosed everything! I was given some great advice: don’t make mountains out of mole hills, let them individuate, and don’t treat them like you used to. What worked for them as children is NOT going to work as a teenager!
Here are a couple of tips that may help you with your soon-to-be adult:
1: Don’t make mountains out of mole hills. In other words, there are some things that you can allow to go by the way side. Focus on the things that are important for them to keep as they move forward. Respect, understanding, love, honor and value to start. You can help build these values.
2. Keep communication open. No matter what I was doing, there was nothing more important then allowing them to come talk to me. I tried not to give my opinion or try to fix the problem for them. (Didn’t always do that, but tried.) They need to know that they are being heard.
3. Take them on dates. Yes, I said dates. Fathers take your daughters. Mothers, let your sons take you. This is a great way to have a one-on-one with them. It will also help instill respect for the opposite sex. It can teach them to honor others.
4. Learn not to judge them. Their opinions are just as important as yours. We don’t want to dictate to them how to think, we want them to think on their own.
5. Being an adult means facing the consequences of your decision. Face it, we all mess up. As adults, we don’t have someone come to our rescue. Let them face the consequences of their decisions. Don’t jump in to fix “it” or “them”. Character is built by facing life’s experiences. Don’t circumvent that opportunity for them. If they come to you, help them with good choices, but don’t enforce your opinion or what you would do on them. Let them make that decision.
By the end of our conversation, this mom was doing so much better. Not sure how she will incorporate my suggestions, but she knows there is someone who is available with a listening ear.
Psalms 119:24 – Thy testimonies also are my delight; They are my counselors.
As I was reading the above passage this morning, I was thinking about how testimonies in the past have built my faith. Hearing what God did for others made me believe that He would do that for me! And He has! For instance when Russ and I were first married, he had to pay child support from his first marriage. There were times when we weren’t sure how we were going to pay it. Then as we prayed the Lord would send someone to us with the exact amount that we needed or he would get an extra job. One couple came to our door after church and said that the Lord had told them to give to us the exact amount we needed. Or the time when I found $5 in a macaroni and cheese box to keep a commitment I had made to a non-profit. Or when we couldn’t afford groceries, we had someone deliver seven (7) bags of groceries to us (included was my favorite ice cream at the time: Mint Chocolate Chip!)
Then as I continued to read, believe and stand on the scripture, I knew that healing was available to not just me but others. So I started praying for others. I didn’t see immediate results, however, the more I prayed, believed and stood on His truth, things started happening. People were experiencing healing.
When we testify to the goodness of God, He comes through EVERY TIME! I am sure some would argue that they haven’t seen God do this or that. He hasn’t answered their prayers. I don’t claim to have all the answers. What I can say is don’t limit God by what you haven’t seen and encourage yourself with the testimony of others. They will become your delight, build your faith and then allow the Lord to use you. Just step out, keep your focus on Him…He won’t let you sink. Let faith arise! Tell me your testimony…..
She stood away from the crowd. She was not sure of these strange people who had come. She had lived many years in this village. Many had come to help in her village. Where did these white people come from? She couldn’t understand what they were saying. Why would they come? She was told about the love of a God she did not know. Over the years, she had learned to pray to the gods of her people. She was not aware that any of them loved her. She was not aware that any had died then risen for her. Yet, here were these people who spoke things very foreign to her. Had she not seen what she would have considered miracles in her own life let alone her village? Being encouraged to come and meet these people, she drew herself up. Held her head high and allow herself to be guided to a chair. The white man bent extending his hand. Not sure what to do, she spoke fast and furious! Startled, the man stepped back with a confused look on his face. He asked the interpreter to tell him what he had done to offend her! Sitting by her, the interpreter calmed her and asked what she said. What was translated startled not just the man, but the interpreter! She yelled, “Here you come to my village to take my picture and I will not even get a copy!” With a chuckle, the interpreter assured her would she would receive a copy of her picture. She relaxed in the company of the people who had come to care for the least of these.
I have a confession to make: I am not a super woman! There I have said it! That is right! I am not! I can’t handle everything. I try, but can’t. I am in another process of waiting on the healing of my heel. I injured it about four days ago now. When I realized that it really did hurt, I did what I knew to do. Ice it, bandage it: there! Now it will get better instantly! Yep, that is my expectation! It’s what I need right? Coupled with the Word of God!
As I inquired of the Lord, I asked what else I needed to do? Call your daughter in law. Oh, I can do that. I am better now, so what I need to do is find out how to strengthen it. Exercise! It will help in the healing process. I am still believing for a quick recovery!
Called her. She is so good at her profession! She said, “Momma, you are not going to like what I have to tell you.” My response? “Don’t tell me I will have to ice it?!” “Yes, for about a week.” “What????” “And you have to stay off if it for two weeks.”
Two weeks??? Really? Does she not know how busy I am? I have a garden to weed and water. I have a flower bed that needs attention. I have to clean, network, etc., etc., etc….. Sound familiar? I have to ask for help?
How often do we get caught up in those things that revolve around us? I am not saying they are not important. I am not saying they shouldn’t be done. I am just saying that paying attention to my body and listening to what needs to be done to be healed is a process. Rest happens to be a part of that process.
I have discovered a few things while talking with others about my “condition”.
1. I have to change my mind. That’s right. I have a mind set that deceives me. I think that I can do it all. Why? Many reasons probably but the biggest one has to do with trust and expectations. I take people at their word. So when I do get disappointed, I take on their responsibility. (Need to change that.) I need to hold them accountable.
2. I believe in miracles. I have seen them time and again. They are wonderful. I am expecting a quick work where my heel is concerned. I also know that the Lord is interested in the process that this will work in my heart. I have to rest. Give my body time to heal. There are things that I can do from a seated position. Prayer for instance. I have become aware of several needs that need prayer. Reading, cross stitching, sewing, writing, coloring to name a few things that will help me relax. Hobbies I haven’t picked up for a while.
3. Learning to ask for help. I can get so caught up in doing “stuff” that I forget, I am not a “one” woman show. I need others just as you need others.
4. Learning to just be quiet. This is probably the hardest. Quiet: making no noise, silent, free from disturbance, motionless, free from disturbing thoughts, not busy or active.
Scripture says to be still and know He is God. I want to know Him more. I learn this in the quiet, secret place.
5. The consequences of not heeding this time. I could further injure with the possibility of surgery. It happens and then the time would be longer.
Two weeks? I will submit my self to this. Why? Because He can do His work in me when I am surrendered. So I choose to surrender to this work. His work of not just healing me physically, but allowing Him to show me where in my soul needs healing as well.
Please share with me that you have learned.