Plan B – a single mom’s decision to go alone. By Alexandra Soiseth
In her article, Alexandra chooses intrauterine insemination by an unknown donor from a Scandinavian Cryo bank. Her plan as a teenager did not work out for her. Her dream was to have a husband and children. When she turned 36, she realized life was passing her by.
I applaud her fulfilling her desire for having children. Several things in her article stood out as I read it. Let me begin by saying, I am not a perfect parent. I didn’t do everything right. I was saddened to hear her parents use her weight when she was a teenager to place shame and guilt on her. Then to remark that because of this, it will be hard to get a man. We have placed stigmas on our children (and yes I include myself). That is a fallacy in our society. I have seen men who love having a full-figured woman by his side.
How many of us have people (relatives) in our lives who (for whatever reason) have remained single? Why do we make being single a “fate-worse-than-death scenario” as she put it? Why do we cause people to stumble in their emotions by the words we speak? I wonder if words of encouragement were spoken over her if her life would have been different?
Here are a few thoughts: She was not a failure. She may have had disappointed expectations, but she was living life as she wanted. One shouldn’t be compared to others. There is no indication whether or not her aunt was happy with what life handed her or didn’t hand her (husband and children). The author is a whole person, there is nothing lacking. Men (husbands) compliment us (women/wives) not complete us.
It seems she has found what she was looking for: someone to love her. The procedure did work. Her daughter was born.